This past weekend was my annual girls’ trip with my best college girlfriends. It is our one trip a year away from husbands, kids and life’s responsibilities so we can pretend we are 22 again.
It is time spent catching-up, telling old stories and laughing so hard our sides hurt, and I can honestly say, it is one of my favorite weekends of the year.
This year was a milestone for us as it marked our 10th year of taking this trip.
As we sat at the pool one day, we scrolled through old photos from college and each of the 10 trips we have taken, laughing at our outfits and commenting about how young we looked.
As women now in our thirties, and most of us new mom’s, it was interesting to see how time has passed and how our bodies have changed.
It was easy to slide back into diet mentality and start judging my body now compared to when I was 22.
All the through started to run through my head as I looked at my younger self. I thought...
I wish my legs still looked like that.
I wish I was that tan still.
I wish I was still that skinny.
That dress wouldn't even zip for me now.
Man, I wish I thought I looked great at that age.
And so on.
I could have spiraled into negative self-talk.
I could have decided that I wasn’t going to continue to eat the things I wanted on that trip.
I could have made promises to myself that once the trip was over and I was back home I would diet and exercise first thing starting Monday.
But nope. I decided to take inventory of my thoughts, acknowledge them and thank the girl in those photos for making me the women I am today.
I looked at all the iterations of me.
Each year representing a different diet I was on.
Each year chasing after a smaller size.
Each year punishing myself with exercise.
Each year believing, I was overweight.
Each year exhausted and frustrated that I hadn’t met my goal and wasn’t my ideal size.
But this year was different for me. This year I was free.
Free of diets.
Free of needing to be the perfect size.
Free of exercising like a mad woman to be pool ready.
This year I went as the best version of me, right now, in this moment.
I went with the intention to have a great time with my friends, eat great food and not worry about breaking a diet.
I ate what I wanted.
I ate when I wanted.
I ate honoring my hunger and fullness cues.
I ate honoring my cravings and satisfaction cues.
I came back from this amazing girl trip feeling nourished and at peace with my decision.
There was no panic to diet, workout and reverse “the damage” I had done because no damage had been done.
I lived my life and isn’t that what we all want to do?
I want you to close your eyes and imagine what your life would be if you were free from diets and were just living?
Take a moment to really soak it in.
To believe it is possible for you.
What thoughts, feelings or words come to mind?
Write it down.
We all have the opportunity to heal, chose and change into the versions of ourselves we so deeply desire.
All you have to do is say yes.